Yo! That's ILL

A guide for the refined urban gentleman
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In case you haven’t learned already my dude bad breath is bad and good breath is ILL.  This is how honies react to dudes with bad breath.

You don’t want that to be you my dude, because that dude is getting NOTHING from that honie. That honey is fly because she knows that gum makes breath smell good. Did you know that gum makes your breath smell good? If you didn’t you’re probably not getting laid to often, but don’t worry B. because I’m about to drop some science on you that’s gonna make more women drop their panties in your presence. 

Carry gum with you brotha!  Chew it too!  Chew it after you’ve had a few drinks, chew it before you approach a honey, and offer the honey a piece of gum too. She will think you’re thoughtful.  Women like thoughtful men.  Thoughtful men get more women.  Booking more women is better than booking less women.  It’s hard enough to get women to give you (strange man who they do not know) their phone number.  Don’t make an administrative process such as your breath prevent you from booking a fly honey.

I’m digging Trident Xtra Care my ninja!  Trident Xtra Care is so ILL I buy this gum in bulk!  Yeah, that’s right bulk.  It’s all about volume B!  Volume!  You should keep a case of gum right next to your case of condoms.  They should go hand-in-hand. 

Trident Xtra Care is dope because it’s the only gum that has Recaldent in it.  Recaldent helps prevent cavities.  Cavities aren’t good either B!  Fine ladies like men with good teeth.  Pleasant smelling breath and good teeth.  That’s what it’s all about brotha!  You have those two elements covered and your first kiss with a fly honey won’t be your last.  Now go ye forth B and kiss many many honies.  Fine honies or not-so-fine honies, whatever works for you.